Archive Website of the UK government

Get involved in your child’s life

• praise and acknowledge your child’s achievements and effort
• make your child proud of the family roots
• talk more to your child
• get involved with your child’s school and after school activities, if you can
• encourage your child to take part in after school activities
• take the time to get to know your child’s friends and their families

Help your child to lead a positive life

• be a good role model – remember children learn from what they see and experience at home
• encourage good study and play habits
• help them to think about risks and danger – to themselves and others
• teach them how to cope with peer pressure
• teach them how to deal with conflict without using violence

Discipline

• set limits and boundaries
• stick to your rules and avoid double standards – always set a good example
• teach them that actions have consequences, and that they should always have respect for others
• don’t let younger children stay out late or spend a lot of time on the streets
• limit access to alcohol, and if you do let them drink, keep an eye on how much

Work together

Remember that other people can help you. Have a chat to your child’s friends’ parents. If you are worried, they probably are too, and there will be times when they see your child when you’re not there. By working together they can help you watch out for the signs. And maybe there are other family members who could talk to your child about the dangers?

If your child is already involved in a gang

You will need to talk to your child but this could be a tricky conversation – they may be scared or unwilling to talk about it. But it is important that they know that you want to listen and support them. It’s also important to be clear that your child does have a choice even when they think they may not - they don't have to follow the crowd.

Your approach will be more effective if you:

• stay calm and rational, no matter how upset you are
• ask questions, rather than making accusations or rash statements
• listen carefully to what they say without interrupting them
• really try to understand the situation from their point of view and why they have joined the gang
• ask them what you can do to help, rather than telling them what they have to do
• point out the risks and consequences of carrying, or worse still using a gun or a knife (remember that many people who are hurt by guns or knives have their own weapon used against them)
• try to come up with an agreement on what to do next
• work with them to find alternatives to being in the gang

Finally, there are local community organisations or youth services who can help you. They can offer mentoring, mediation and other ways to help your child leave the gang. Ask at your child’s school about the assigned safer schools police officer or community support officer.

More information about gangs

• Gangs and gang crime: the facts

• Involvement in gangs: what to look out for

Useful contacts

• Neighbourhood Police – find the details of your local team and find out more about what they are doing in your area Opens new window

• Find your local council - get in contact and ask about local parent groups, youth services and other local help

• Victim Support - national charity helping people affected by crime Opens new window